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Wow, this is an interesting place to be! Running this email
list, I get some VERY interesting emails -- some good, some
bad.
But it's always helpful and insightful.
What happens many times, every day, is that a family member
or
friend will add to this email list the email address of a
smoker
they hope will quit smoking. The smoker receives my first "
Welcome" email, and they either like it or hate it.
They didn't
sign up for the list. They weren't expecting the email because
someone else signed them up, anonymously.
So, what invariably happens is that a small percentage of
the
people who are added to the list everyday, are removed from
the
list. Most people simply send a "remove" email.
Occasionally,
someone sends a strongly worded "remove" email.
Today, I
received a remove email in the latter category.
Actually, the person sent two separate emails. They provide
great insight into what many of you probably feel right now.
The first message reads "Remove me from this Horrible
Listing, I
take pride in smoking okay, and If I quit I'll Die."
Do you take pride in your smoking? My guess is that if you
really examine it, you take pride not in smoking, but in
making
your own decisions, and being your own person. Many people
START
smoking to prove their independence and control over their
own
lives. No one can tell you what to do, right? That's why
the
decision to quit and the motivation to quit MUST come from
inside YOU, not someone else. If you are reading this message
you've probably made the decision that smoking stinks and
that
getting help and advice from others is okay now. That's a
huge
step toward quitting. Congratulations! Once you get past
the
pride issue, quitting becomes a whole lot easier.
The last part of the emails says, "If I quit I'll Die." What
an
ironic statement. Shouldn't it really be, "If I don't
quit I'll
Die"? We all know what he means though: "I can't
face the
thought of not having my friend, the cigarette. I need them
to
relax. I need them to cope. I need them to fit in. I just
need
them to live." That's the addiction talking. He's probably
tried
to quit before and felt the withdrawal--mentally, physically
and
emotionally. It can be painful, almost to the point that
you DO
feel like you're going to die. But, rest assured you won't.
The next message reads "Remove me from this torture." I
suppose
this one can be interpreted in a couple different ways. Perhaps
the guy just didn't like my writing. Ok, I can take the
constructive criticism. But the other interpretation is the
one
I'd like to focus on. I think what he really meant was this: "
Every time you talk to me about quitting smoking it drives
me
insane because I know I should quit. I've tried, believe
me,
I've tried. I want to quit, but I like to smoke. I need my
cigarettes. I want to be my own person. I want to *smoke*
on my
own terms and I want to *quit* on my own terms. Leave me
alone
and just let me figure it out in my own way. I'm not ready
to
quit right now."
Is that you? Does reading about this torture you? I've had
other
people ask to be taken off this list because it made them
think
about smoking too much, and made them want to smoke. Quitting
can be torture, but most anything worth doing does
involve some pain or discomfort. Some things worth doing
require
LOTS of pain and discomfort.
I remember how painful football (American style) practice
was
when I was in high school. I banged my head against a bunch
of
other guys for two and a half hours each weekday afternoon,
just
to get ready for a two hour game on Saturday. Now that was
torture! But it was worth it! Once the game started, I forgot
about all the hard work I put in the week before.
I bet all the women on this list who have had children can
relate (but magnified 1,000 times). You suffer for nine months,
feeling like you could explode any minute. You may even say
that
you wish you never got pregnant because it's so miserable.
But
when the big day comes and your baby is born you forget about
the pain and anguish you suffered. It was worth it!
Quitting is worth it! Remember, when you're feeling like
you
could "die", that one day soon, all the pain and
misery of
quitting will be forgotten, and you'll be a non-smoker for
the
rest of your life!
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