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Fear is a part of everyone's life. Fear is both good and
bad
depending on the situation. Fear can help keep you alive
if you
must flee from a dangerous situation. Fear can keep you from
doing things that would endanger your safety or wellbeing,
such
as driving too fast or robbing a bank.
But fear is mostly a limiting factor in most people's lives.
Are
you afraid of trying out for the school play or baseball
team?
Are you afraid of going to the job interview? Are you afraid
of
meeting new people? I could go on forever listing common
fears
that keep people from achieving their dreams and goals. Fear
is
so common, so limiting and so devastating that it's important
to
determine what your own fears are when it comes to quitting
smoking.
At first glance you may be thinking, "I'm not afraid
of anything
related to quitting." Let's examine the many fears smokers
have
and what you can do about them.
"Quitting is like losing a friend," many smokers
will say. Who's
not afraid to lose a friend? If you've smoked for any period
of
time, you probably have an emotional attachment to your
cigarettes. They're a comfort--a constant--that you can always
count on to be there when you need them. As strange as it
may
sound, it's true: Cigarettes are your friend (but this friend
is
the kind that will stab you in the back!).
Next, you may be afraid of losing the friendship of the "smoking
buddies" you have at the designated smoking areas where
you
work. Many smokers spend an extraordinary amount of time
(more
than most realize) each day smoking with other smokers in
designated smoking areas. Naturally, friendships develop.
The
socializing becomes part of the attraction for smokers. Here
are
people with a common bond--people who won't judge or make
negative comments about your smoking. If you're going to
quit
smoking you can't expect to "hang out" in smoking
areas and not
be tempted. Quitting often means making a clean break from
your
smoking buddies and their friendship.
Even more frightening than losing friendships is losing
a spouse
or losing the love of family members. If you are married
to a
smoker and you are trying to quit, you may be afraid that
your
relationship with your spouse may change drastically or even
end. Depending on your situation, you may be afraid that
other
members of your family may "abandon" you or ostracize
you for
quitting.
Another common fear about quitting is that you will gain
weight.
This fear is not without merit. Most smokers do gain some
weight at first, but with proper diet and exercise you can
control your weight (and get healthier in the process).
Perhaps the biggest fear among smokers when it comes to
quitting
is the fear of failure. No one likes to fail. If you try
to quit
and don't, you may feel like a failure and that you can't
quit.
If you have tried several times to quit and haven't been
able
to, you may find your self-esteem suffering. You may think
thoughts like "I can't do anything" or "I'm
a failure" or "I'll
never be able to quit."
Strangely enough, some smokers may even fear successfully
quitting. If you quit, you quit for life. Does that lifetime
commitment scare you? The hidden fear is "what if I
start
smoking again? I'm not sure I can handle it."
So what do you do about all your fears? How do you overcome
them?
First, recognize that everyone has fears and that it's ok
to be
afraid. Then recognize that you CAN HANDLE IT! That's perhaps
the overall fear: "I'm just afraid I can't handle it." You
CAN
handle it!
Next, begin to examine each fear for what it really is.
Is it an
excuse or delay tactic by your own mind? Does it really have
merit? Will your feared outcome really come to pass? What
if it
does come to pass? Ask yourself what's the worst thing that
can
happen? So what? You'll survive!
Next, take some action on behalf of your fear. In other
words,
investigate what will happen if you quit. Talk to family
and
friends and smoking buddies about your desire to quit. Let
them
know you have concerns about what THEY will do if YOU quit.
Get
commitment from the people in question to support YOUR decision
to quit.
If you are afraid of gaining weight, get busy on your exercise
and healthy diet campaign! Take action!
If you are afraid of failure, you must understand that you
HAVE
NOT FAILED until you quit quitting! If you resume smoking
after
quitting, you still have the opportunity to quit again! No
one
said life was perfect. You don't have to be perfect. Just
work
toward that goal on a daily basis, and don't beat yourself
up
when you discover that you aren't perfect (pssst! here's
a
secret: NO ONE IS PERFECT!)
If you are afraid of success, just refer to the previous
paragraph. If you quit, you quit for life. If you falter,
and
begin smoking again--well, just quit again! You did it before.
Besides, you quit smoking everyday, every time you put out
your
cigarette. The only question is "how long is it before
you light
up again?"
Finally, let fear be a motivator. Fear is good if you use
it
properly. Never forget the downside of smoking:
* your health suffers
* you may experience pain associated with diseases caused
by
smoking
* you waste lots of money on "death sticks"
* your life will be shortened
* second-hand smoke will harm those around you
* your risk of having a house fire is much higher
* your breath, clothes, car, hair and house stink
Yes, these are the brutally honest truths, but they can
help
motivate you in the right direction to quit.
Acknowledge your fears, examine your fears, then go about
your
business, and get busy quitting! Don't be afraid anymore!
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